Last night's dream ... disturbed me. I found myself thinking about the different racers in that venerable Hanna Barbera animated series Wacky Races, and started coming to some disturbing thoughts ...
The blurb, if you recall, goes something like this:-
"And now here they are! The most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever whirl their wheels in the Wacky Races. Competing for the title of the World's Wackiest Racer.
"The cars are approaching the starting line. First, is the Turbo Terrific driven by Peter Perfect. Next is Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon.
"Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special. Right behind is the Ant Hill Mob in their Bullet Proof Bomb. Then there's ingenious inventor Pat Pending in his Convert-A-Car.
"Oh! And here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the glamour gal of the gas pedal.
"Next we have the Bouldermobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock & Gravel. Lurching along is the Creepy Coupe with the Gruesome Twosome, and right on their tail is the Red Max. And there's the Arkansas Chug-A-Bug with Luke & Blubber Bear.
"Sneaking along last is that Mean Machine with those double dealing do-badders Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley. And even now they're up to some dirty trick ...
"And they're off! - to a standing start! And why not? They've been chained to a post by that shifty Dick Dastardly - who shifts into the wrong gear! And awaaaay they go! On the way-out Wacky Races!"
Here. Let me present you with the lineup.
01 - The Boulder Mobile – The Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel
02 - The Creepy Coupe with The Gruesome Twosome
03 - The Ring-a-Ding Convert-a-Car – “Ingenious inventor” Pat Pending
04 - The Crimson Haybailer – Red Max
05 - The Compact Pussycat – The lovely Penelope Pitstop, “the glamour gal of the gas pedal”
06 - The Army Surplus Special – General, Sergeant and Private Pinkley
07 - The Bulletproof Bomb – The Anthill Mob
08 - The Arkansas Chuggabug – Luke and Blubber Bear
09 - The Turbo Terrific – Peter Perfect
10 - The Buzz Waggon – Rufus Roughcut and Sawtooth
00 - The Mean Machine – Those double-dealing do-badders Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley.
And now, the disturbing thought ... where did they think of the names for their vehicles? The Turbo Terrific ... The Buzz Wagon ... the Creepy Coupe!
Holy shit! They may have been driven by straight-up guys and gals ... but what would you say to someone who went by the name "Rufus Roughcut" who drives a "Buzz Wagon" or a man who drives a "Turbo Terrific ..." or a couple of guys who call themselves the Gruesome Twosome and drive along in a Creepy Coupe?
Gaah. Me and my dirty mind ...
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"And if we have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long. Else the Puck a liar call ..."
So speak.