So I decided to connect my Kobo Touch to the wider world out there. Talk about a disappointment.
The updated reader seems to have a smaller viewing screen than ever, so everything I've got on it is tiny. I'll have to go into the PDFs of all my poems, all of my writings, and increase the font size just a tad, so I can actually read what I've written.
Hint, guys: if you're thinking of getting an ereader, keep it offline as much as possible. Don't let it get connected or set up or anything like that. You may regret it if you do.