Last week, an inspiration came to me for a parody of the organisation listed within World of Darkness: Demon Hunter X: a team of dedicated agents known as Strike Force Zero.
As a result, I penned the following spoof article, which had me giggling uncontrollably all night long ...
Shiro, the Handsome Leader: Get ready!
All: Strike Force Zero, GO!
Shiro: Kettle!
Tanaka, the Rebel: In position!
Shiro: Water!
Machiko, the Token Female: Pouring! [pours water] Water in place!
Shiro: Tanaka, status!
Tanaka: Containment secure! Kettle is full and ready to activate!
Shiro: Giant, power circuits! Report!
Giant, the Bruiser: Power conduit all clear! Ready to go!
Machiko: Current holding and steady!
Shiro: Psyop, tea status report!
Psyop, the runt (read that again, I SAID RUNT!) with the speech impediment: Reep doo wah b'ding briiiiit -
Tanaka [wry grin]: What - EVER ...
Machiko: All systems reporting ready!
Tanaka: Set!
Shiro: Activating kettle ... NOW!
[Shiro pushes button on side of kettle]
All [to the accompaniment of kata style flourishes in unison]: RAPID! WATER!! BOILAGE!!!
[Optional DVD ending cut from original Japanese anime footage]
[Kettle inexplicably morphs into unstoppable 500 foot Mecha Samurai colossus of metal, steam and plastic that promptly goes on the rampage and trashes half of Tokyo]
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"And if we have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long. Else the Puck a liar call ..."
So speak.