Principia Discordia - The Parable of The Bitter Tea

Principia Discordia - The Parable of The Bitter Tea



FOR YOUR
ENLIGHTENMENT

THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA

by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P.
POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal

When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice.

And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.

"The Five Laws have root in awareness."
--Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85)

The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclus-
ively for them that believe in it. Further,
the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them
that believe in it on the supposition that
they'll go there if they don't.
HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1

Taking The Piss

A conversation I just had today with my bestie, T.

wolfsheart9: Now, one of the other tea brands here that I would suggest you avoid like the plague if you visit the States -- it's called Lusianna. Holy shit, that is some noxious crap. If I had to imagine the American "Tea Party" (bastards don't deserve that name) drinking tea, it would be Lusianna.
Me: LOL It sounds like the leavings we'd have thrown off the ship ourselves. Sounds as if they threw the good stuff overboard and hadn't realised that all the crap stuff was already on the shore.
Me: Now if they'd thought ahead, they could have taken all the good stuff off the ship onto the docks, swapped it for the crap stuff and thrown that overboard.
wolfsheart9: I think it's the tea leaves that natives wipe their asses with then slip into the drying bags they trade with the colonizing white jerks.
Me: LMAOOO
wolfsheart9: This might not be relevant to you because you guys don't drink iced tea, but when iced tea has been left in the tea bins (after it's been made) in a restaurant for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours (or even at home if you do this in the pitcher) after what holds the tea hasn't been cleaned out for a day or two, the tea winds up with this taste that Jeff used to call "skunky" -- it's BAD. It's just...you wouldn't even feed this iced tea to Jean-fucking-Grey if she was dying of thirst and you wanted to punish her. It's THAT bad.
wolfsheart9: But that's how Lusianne iced tea tastes FRESH.
Me: Oh gods.
Me: It's the Discordian Parable of the Bitter Tea.
wolfsheart9: It's nasty motherfucking stuff.
wolfsheart9: It's so bad, you'd volunteer in a watersports-piss drinking scene at a sweaty BDSM club just to get the taste of that tea out of your mouth.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: That thought has left me speechless.
wolfsheart9: :))
wolfsheart9: It is BAD TEA.
Me: Dave Lister of Red Dwarf could not have come up with that imagery.
wolfsheart9: *bows flamboyantly*
Me: LOLOL
Me: I am saving this entire conversation just for that line.
wolfsheart9: :))
wolfsheart9: I should, too.
wolfsheart9: Actually, I'll post it to LJ for reference.
Me: hehehe I'm saving it as "2015 07 28 the piss tea convo with tracy"
wolfsheart9: LOL

It's been a long, long time since I had a conversation as epic as this one.