So, last I checked, the Leader, my local newspaper, has started up another of their periodical "Draw Your Mum" competitions. You know, kids draw pics of their mothers and submit their colourful scrawls to the papers to fill up space, because round here the slow season is all year round.
I just had this image in my head - Little Johnny behind an easel, paintbrush and palette in hand, his Mum sitting posing as he paints her figure on the canvas.
"Mum, sit still, please. Just ... like ... that. There."
"Johnny, how long do I have to sit here for?"
"Another two hours at least."
"TWO HOURS? I can't sit here for two hours! I can't even sit here for two minutes!"
"Well now you know what it's like, Mum."
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"And if we have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long. Else the Puck a liar call ..."
So speak.