Supersoakers

Just saw a BBC News item on people going to York Minster to have someone ritually sprinkle water over their faces.

Just because a priest sang and waved his fingers over a bucket of water it doesn't make that water holy, and more than if I yell "ACCIO MY COAT!" it won't just float up into the air and come to me. I'll just have to pick the coat up from the back of the chair within arms' reach of me as I type this, and the water in the bucket is still just water.

So the news article prompted some thoughts, namely these.

One, If it works the way the priest says he does, can he also make holy beer, holy cocaine parcels and holy shit by waving his fingers over them?

Two, if a little bit of water on your face turns you into a whole new person, how come everybody still calls you by your old name and comes after you for the unpaid bills from your old life?

Three, if a little dash of water on your face makes you somehow special, how much more special would you be if you got drenched in the stuff? Let's have candidates put in big glass tanks, sat down in the clothes they came in with and have big shower heads spray them with water (do their clothes and iPhones and stuff at the same time, to make everything specially holy), or maybe the priest can wave his fingers over supersoakers and then they all go out spraying everybody (or will the priest just be making the water pistols themselves holy without touching the water. Does finger waving work through plastic?) or maybe they can just have the priest wave his fingers over the local municipal swimming pool and throw everybody in.

Four, the Beeb actually wasted license fee money on this?