The other day, I read a hilarious article online. Hilarious, because the editor had failed to correct a huge error, caused by the spellchecker systematically going through the entire document and deleting every instance of "rn" throughout the article. Somebody'd pressed "Replace All" and the editor clearly did not read the item, because every other paragraph seemed to contain a word with "rn" in it somewhere, which the error had reduced to some hilarious new abbreviation.
The following words:-
barn
barns
barnstorm
barnstormed
barnstormer
barnstorming
barnstorms
born
borne
burn
burned
burning
burns
California
churn
churned
churning
churns
cornet
corny
earn
earned
earnest
earnestness
earning
earnings
earns
Ernest
Ernie
external
fern
ferns
Goldarn
hornet
hornets
horny
nornier
horniest
horniness
infernal
inferno
internal
international
internet
journey
learn
learned
learning
learns
lovelorn
morn
mourn
mourned
mourning
mourns
ornithology
porno
pornographer
pornography
scorn
scorned
scorning
scorns
shorn
spurn
spurned
spurning
spurns
superhorny
supernal
supernatural
thorn
thorns
thorny
torn
tornado
turn
turns
turned
turning
warn
warned
warning
warns
worn
become
ba
bas
bastorm
bastormed
bastormer
bastorming
bastorms
bo
boe
bu
bued
buing
bus
Califoia
chu
chued
chuing
chus
coet
coy
ea
eaed
eaest
eaestness
eaing
eaings
eas
Eest
Eie
exteal
fe
fes
Golda
hoet
hoets
hoy
noier
hoiest
hoiness
infeal
infeo
inteal
inteational
inteet
jouey
lea
leaed
leaing
leas
lovelo
mo
mou
moued
mouing
mous
oithology
poo
poographer
poography
sco
scoed
scoing
scos
sho
spu
spued
spuing
spus
superhoy
supeal
supeatural
tho
thos
thoy
to
toado
tu
tus
tued
tuing
wa
waed
waing
was
wo
So think of that, next time you are looking at poography on the inteet, and the news carries some article about the Goveor of Califoia inciting sco from politicians on the inteational stage, and your inteal clock tells you you need to tu in when suddenly you hear the toado alarm outside as the exteal weather tus nasty.
2011-07-28
Very short, bittersweet
My favourite track of hers was always the first song I ever heard from her, "You Know I'm No Good." The moment I heard it, I could feel an unmistakable air of tragedy.
I had a feeling she wanted to go the way of Billie Holiday.
I was right.
But she gave the world a track that, I swear, if Billie Holiday and Nina Simone were alive today, they'd both want to cover it. Aretha in her prime would cover it.
Dusty Springfield would want to cover this track, if she were alive.
I had a feeling she wanted to go the way of Billie Holiday.
I was right.
But she gave the world a track that, I swear, if Billie Holiday and Nina Simone were alive today, they'd both want to cover it. Aretha in her prime would cover it.
Dusty Springfield would want to cover this track, if she were alive.
2011-07-26
So, Today, in bullet points
- Went to the Museum.
- Took notes on exhibits in Gallery 2 and 3.
- Amused by new volunteer gallery enabler who'd just started off on her first solo day.
- Gently rebuffed one racist moron who kept saying "Welsh, huh! All double Dutch to me!" by replying "Well, you know that learning two languages has been known to stave off dementia in later life ...:" said racist being in his seventies.
- Amused by postcards depicting Welsh life. Part of the appeal of Welsh culture to the Saesneg is what they call "The Appeal Of The Other."
Hear hear.
- Bought food with a fiver.
- Went to the bus station and found that someone had dropped a fiver.
- Now back home, waiting for season premiere of CSI Miami.
- Shades of Justice. YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH
- Took notes on exhibits in Gallery 2 and 3.
- Amused by new volunteer gallery enabler who'd just started off on her first solo day.
- Gently rebuffed one racist moron who kept saying "Welsh, huh! All double Dutch to me!" by replying "Well, you know that learning two languages has been known to stave off dementia in later life ...:" said racist being in his seventies.
- Amused by postcards depicting Welsh life. Part of the appeal of Welsh culture to the Saesneg is what they call "The Appeal Of The Other."
Hear hear.
- Bought food with a fiver.
- Went to the bus station and found that someone had dropped a fiver.
- Now back home, waiting for season premiere of CSI Miami.
- Shades of Justice. YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH
2011-07-25
Blogging To An Apparently Dead Blog Site - LiveJournal
Posting this via email to my blog. LiveJournal has apparently gone down, so no direct posting through their web interface. However, I have access through email: so I can try and see if this will go through and, in time, if my message appears on the blog (if and when the blog comes back).
So if this works, we shall see what comes of it. If it doesn't work ... worse news for LJ than I thought.
So, then, what to blog about?
I had a fun and interesting day today. I would like to head off into town tomorrow and enjoy looking in the Museum as a museum-goer, possibly checking out the exhibits there.
I also need to dig up what history they have of the likes of Brymbo Man and the Mold Cape, to enhance my spiel when it comes to guiding the public around the exhibits.
If you show sufficient diligence and look around, the things that you can learn, if you put your mind to it ....
So if this works, we shall see what comes of it. If it doesn't work ... worse news for LJ than I thought.
So, then, what to blog about?
I had a fun and interesting day today. I would like to head off into town tomorrow and enjoy looking in the Museum as a museum-goer, possibly checking out the exhibits there.
I also need to dig up what history they have of the likes of Brymbo Man and the Mold Cape, to enhance my spiel when it comes to guiding the public around the exhibits.
If you show sufficient diligence and look around, the things that you can learn, if you put your mind to it ....
Erik/Charles - X-Men First Class post ...
They really were made for each other, but never meant to be together after all ...
Problems with LiveJournal Again
LiveJournal's gone down yet again. I can't raise it.
Another DoS attack from the Russians?
Another DoS attack from the Russians?
2011-07-24
Plutocracy
Free markets tend to lead to plutocracies, rather than democracies. When everything has a price, only those with an income have the power and freedom that society has to offer. Travel; health; range of leisure pursuits; and the freedom to choose how much, and how little of your life to devote towards maintaining that income, as compared to enjoying your life.
In a plutocracy, the rich become the idle rich. You can afford the staff to take care of the tedious wants and needs everybody has, like keeping your homes clean, car maintenance, seeing to the bills. As income increases, the more likely the rich become less and less connected to those mundane activities which root one to life, such as actually taking out the trash - or even putting those empties in the trash in the first place. They can drop those cigar dints anywhere they like, like slobs, knowing that the help are there, paid to pick them up and, if necessary, replace the carpet.
As wealth becomes obscene, this insanity settles in - a delirium of wealth, like nitrogen narcosis or the hypoxia one gets from ascending too high up a mountain without oxygen. Pretty soon, like forgetting that your air will run out or that you have to return to the surface some time, the rich start to get this demented notion that the only way to go is to get wealthier and wealthier, because otherwise they won't be able to catch up with the Jones next door who are earning twice as much as they are, but putting in half as much work.
They want to get wealthier, because otherwise people might think that they are poor.
On an income of £50,000 a year or higher I can't imagine anyone ever being poor. Actually, I can't even imagine an income of £10,000 a year. I've never been in a job that earned that much.
So we're living in a plutocracy, led by the deluded and the demented. People who've lost their sense of perspective, and who genuinely don't see the poor. If they did, they'd all have nervous breakdowns because by now, the poor are everywhere they look.
In a plutocracy, the rich become the idle rich. You can afford the staff to take care of the tedious wants and needs everybody has, like keeping your homes clean, car maintenance, seeing to the bills. As income increases, the more likely the rich become less and less connected to those mundane activities which root one to life, such as actually taking out the trash - or even putting those empties in the trash in the first place. They can drop those cigar dints anywhere they like, like slobs, knowing that the help are there, paid to pick them up and, if necessary, replace the carpet.
As wealth becomes obscene, this insanity settles in - a delirium of wealth, like nitrogen narcosis or the hypoxia one gets from ascending too high up a mountain without oxygen. Pretty soon, like forgetting that your air will run out or that you have to return to the surface some time, the rich start to get this demented notion that the only way to go is to get wealthier and wealthier, because otherwise they won't be able to catch up with the Jones next door who are earning twice as much as they are, but putting in half as much work.
They want to get wealthier, because otherwise people might think that they are poor.
On an income of £50,000 a year or higher I can't imagine anyone ever being poor. Actually, I can't even imagine an income of £10,000 a year. I've never been in a job that earned that much.
So we're living in a plutocracy, led by the deluded and the demented. People who've lost their sense of perspective, and who genuinely don't see the poor. If they did, they'd all have nervous breakdowns because by now, the poor are everywhere they look.
Like A Dwarf
You know that scene from Lord of The Rings, where the Fellowship are dungeoneering through Moria, and Gandalf reads the last journal of the dwarf Balin, Gimli's late cousin? Those neat runes actually read something else: and, well, through a lot of painstaking effort, the tranlation has finally come through.
I present it to you below ...
Like A Dwarf
(with apologies to The Lonely Island)
Mr. Balin. Thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?.
Absolutely. I'm a dwarf.
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of a dwarf.
Well the first thing I do is...
Talk to the mine boss (like a dwarf)
Approve memos (like a dwarf)
Cut a tunnel (like a dwarf)
Remember birthdays (like a dwarf)
Refine minerals (like a dwarf)
My own mineshaft (like a dwarf)
Micromanage (like a dwarf)
Promote Synergy (like a dwarf)
Hit on Debra (like a dwarf)
Get rejected (like a dwarf)
Swallow sadness (like a dwarf)
Write some runes down (like a dwarf)
Call Elrond (like a dwarf)
Cry deeply (like a dwarf)
Demand a refund (like a dwarf)
Eat some lembas (like a dwarf)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a dwarf)
No promotion (like a dwarf)
Fifth of vodka (like a dwarf)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a dwarf)
Buy a crossbow (like a dwarf)
In my mouth (like a dwarf)
Oh, fuck man, I can't fucking do it ... shit!
Pussy out (like a dwarf)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a dwarf)
Jump out the window (like a dwarf)
Suck an elf's dick (like a dwarf)
Score some coke (like a dwarf)
Crash my cart (like a dwarf)
Suck my own dick (like a dwarf)
Eat some chicken strips (like a dwarf)
Chop my beard off (like a dwarf)
Descend to Moria (like a dwarf)
Meet some orcs and trolls (like a dwarf)
Fuck their brains out (like a dwarf)
Fly an Eagle (like a dwarf)
Bomb Sauron (like a dwarf)
Dig up a Balrog (like a dwarf)
Now I'm dead (like a dwarf)
Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?
No doubt.
You chop your beard off and die?
Hell yeah!
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick.
Nope!
Actually I'm pretty sure you did.
Nah, that ain't me.
Okay, well this has been eye opening for me.
I'm a dwarf.
Yeah, no, I got that. You said it about four hundred times.
I'm a dwarf.
Yeah, yeah, I got it!
I'm a dwarf.
No, I heard you. See ya later.
LIKE A DWARF!
I present it to you below ...
(with apologies to The Lonely Island)
Mr. Balin. Thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?.
Absolutely. I'm a dwarf.
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of a dwarf.
Well the first thing I do is...
Talk to the mine boss (like a dwarf)
Approve memos (like a dwarf)
Cut a tunnel (like a dwarf)
Remember birthdays (like a dwarf)
Refine minerals (like a dwarf)
My own mineshaft (like a dwarf)
Micromanage (like a dwarf)
Promote Synergy (like a dwarf)
Hit on Debra (like a dwarf)
Get rejected (like a dwarf)
Swallow sadness (like a dwarf)
Write some runes down (like a dwarf)
Call Elrond (like a dwarf)
Cry deeply (like a dwarf)
Demand a refund (like a dwarf)
Eat some lembas (like a dwarf)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a dwarf)
No promotion (like a dwarf)
Fifth of vodka (like a dwarf)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a dwarf)
Buy a crossbow (like a dwarf)
In my mouth (like a dwarf)
Oh, fuck man, I can't fucking do it ... shit!
Pussy out (like a dwarf)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a dwarf)
Jump out the window (like a dwarf)
Suck an elf's dick (like a dwarf)
Score some coke (like a dwarf)
Crash my cart (like a dwarf)
Suck my own dick (like a dwarf)
Eat some chicken strips (like a dwarf)
Chop my beard off (like a dwarf)
Descend to Moria (like a dwarf)
Meet some orcs and trolls (like a dwarf)
Fuck their brains out (like a dwarf)
Fly an Eagle (like a dwarf)
Bomb Sauron (like a dwarf)
Dig up a Balrog (like a dwarf)
Now I'm dead (like a dwarf)
Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?
No doubt.
You chop your beard off and die?
Hell yeah!
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick.
Nope!
Actually I'm pretty sure you did.
Nah, that ain't me.
Okay, well this has been eye opening for me.
I'm a dwarf.
Yeah, no, I got that. You said it about four hundred times.
I'm a dwarf.
Yeah, yeah, I got it!
I'm a dwarf.
No, I heard you. See ya later.
LIKE A DWARF!
2011-07-05
Crossposting - Something For US and UK Readers Alike ...
Okay, Usarians, a roundup of today's major news item which has got us folks in the UK raging:-
News of The World hacked a murder victim's phone
- in short, as a result of independent research into generalised illegal cellphone hacking by Rupert Murdoch's News of The World Sunday rag, the Guardian newspaper revealed how those same sordid journos hacked into the cellphone of a murdered schoolgirl, Milly Dowler, back in 2002 - and deleted what could have been evidence, with the result that her killer Levi Bellfield may have remained at large for many more years to come, thanks to the News of the World journalists acting as Bellfield's accomplices and perverting the course of justice.
Murdoch's pet Sunday paper loses sponsors amid phone hacking claims
And today, amid calls for an urgent inquiry and a petition to block Rupert Murdoch taking over majority ownership of BSkyB, news that the sponsors whose adverts fund the rag have started pulling out.
A blog post for Channel Four News
Basically, this whole situation has sickened and outraged a vast chunk of the British public - and the author of the above post wonders where it will all end. Seeing as the police have extended their inquiries now to the parents of the murdered Soham girls Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman, even as the Sun and Daily Mirror went to a public inquiry about their slipshod mishandling of yet another murder case - Jo Yeates over the Christmas break last year - we can only speculate that things may well end badly for the pisspoor, cynical arsekissers in Fleet Street ... and for their owners.
And now, Brits, for the news from the US which has got our star-spangled friends up in arms ...
The Casey Anthony Case
Apparently, over in the US, someone called Casey Anthony got nicked and tried for murdering a girl called Caylee. Basically, think of this as an American Baby P case. Remember that?
Well, this case went a little differently.
Despite what looked like an overwhelming case against her, the accused ... got found not guilty. So she walks. She could run around singing songs about how she killed the kid, now - the courts could not touch her no matter how much they want to.
So, peoples, two cases on either side of the pond. Both of them pretty emotive and horrifying seeing as they deal with the deaths of children. Both of them provoking the strongest outrage, on either side of the Wet Divide.
Anyone care to swap? No. Didn't think so.
- in short, as a result of independent research into generalised illegal cellphone hacking by Rupert Murdoch's News of The World Sunday rag, the Guardian newspaper revealed how those same sordid journos hacked into the cellphone of a murdered schoolgirl, Milly Dowler, back in 2002 - and deleted what could have been evidence, with the result that her killer Levi Bellfield may have remained at large for many more years to come, thanks to the News of the World journalists acting as Bellfield's accomplices and perverting the course of justice.
And today, amid calls for an urgent inquiry and a petition to block Rupert Murdoch taking over majority ownership of BSkyB, news that the sponsors whose adverts fund the rag have started pulling out.
Basically, this whole situation has sickened and outraged a vast chunk of the British public - and the author of the above post wonders where it will all end. Seeing as the police have extended their inquiries now to the parents of the murdered Soham girls Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman, even as the Sun and Daily Mirror went to a public inquiry about their slipshod mishandling of yet another murder case - Jo Yeates over the Christmas break last year - we can only speculate that things may well end badly for the pisspoor, cynical arsekissers in Fleet Street ... and for their owners.
And now, Brits, for the news from the US which has got our star-spangled friends up in arms ...
Apparently, over in the US, someone called Casey Anthony got nicked and tried for murdering a girl called Caylee. Basically, think of this as an American Baby P case. Remember that?
Well, this case went a little differently.
Despite what looked like an overwhelming case against her, the accused ... got found not guilty. So she walks. She could run around singing songs about how she killed the kid, now - the courts could not touch her no matter how much they want to.
So, peoples, two cases on either side of the pond. Both of them pretty emotive and horrifying seeing as they deal with the deaths of children. Both of them provoking the strongest outrage, on either side of the Wet Divide.
Anyone care to swap? No. Didn't think so.
Followers
Just a short note to welcome anyone who wishes to follow my blog. I aim to post occasionally hilarious, often outrageous, and sometimes shocking, articles. My output is eccentric, the content and subject matter eclectic, but hopefully it will all be interesting.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Disinterring Bad Press
Click on the link to the New Statesman's article exposing the attempt by the Sun newspaper to bury the bad press about the News of The World. Let's make this particular article stand out, shall we?
Get out your shovels, folks. Time to disinter some bad news.
2011-07-03
Tau
Recently, proponents of the proposed fundamental mathematical constant τ, aka 2π, celebrated τ Day on June 28. I wondered if you might be interested in what τ looks like to about 180 decimal places.
6.283185307179586476925286766559 005768394338798750211641949889 184615632812572417997256069650 684234135964296173026564613294 187689219101164463450718816256 962234900568205403877042211118 ...
6.283185307179586476925286766559 005768394338798750211641949889 184615632812572417997256069650 684234135964296173026564613294 187689219101164463450718816256 962234900568205403877042211118 ...
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